All This Time
by NCISAngel
Summary: Post season 6. After Dark Willow is stopped Willow decides it would be best to just leave Sunnydale. This was written a LONG time ago and i just never finished it & now it is: NC-17 for smut in the second chapter. Only a copuple of more chapters til end.
1. A Subway Meeting

_Title: All This Time_

_Spiolers for season 6 _

_Tv Show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer_

_Rated: NC-17 for some smut & language_

_Couple/Pairing: Willow&Xander_

**_Note: This is going to be a short one just simply because I have too many continuous stories goin' on but tell me if you want a sequel & I will definitely keep it in mind. I know that this didn't and probably wouldn't have happened but I have a very interesting imagination…_**

**_Oh, & All characters belong to Joss Whedon!_**

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER I<strong>

Willow Rosenberg got on the subway exactly at midnight, the exact time the "Sunnydale Subway" was leaving. Willow had to yank her scarf from the doors of the Subway to free herself from being stuck standing at the door awkwardly.

Leaving Sunnydale was going to be very hard but it was kind of like closure for her. She never wanted to have to repeat the tragedies she had endured. This was going to be a new beginning. She was going to go back to school when she got to L.A, and maybe catch up with Angel there. Her new life will be spotless with no demons, vampires, or worries of loved ones dying. Well (She thought about it) there still would be some of that stuff but nothing serious, right? It will be a normal life without anyone from her past. Before she could sit in a seat she saw someone familiar. She gasped. Xander!

She was completely startled. Why was Xander here? Was he leaving, too? Didn't he have his "precious", "lovable" Anya to look after?

Even though Willow was with Tara (but having problems in their relationship) at the time of his wedding Willow still wished the wedding wouldn't have gone on. And it didn't. He dumped her at the altar which was, she had to admit, very low. But he had good reasons. If someone's not ready and scared then it's probably a good idea to just not.

After thinking about for a few minutes she was still angry. She hid herself from him, through half the ride and then someone called her name.

"Willow!"

Her habit of responding when her name was called took a hold of her and she turned and came face-to-face with Xander. A little to close she might add, their noses were almost touching. This train was really crowded, so crowded she couldn't move back an inch.

"_How he moved through the crowd that swiftly, I will never know",_ Willow thought to herself.

Xander gave his half-smile with warmth and he hugged her, his arms around her slender waist. She felt his muscular chest through his cotton/polyester-collared shirt.

Willow tensed and tried to push him away but she couldn't. It was like her body was totally refusing to listen to her brain. Then she felt her arms coming around his neck. Of course she didn't like this but then she slowly eased and calmed down. His cologne was sweet. Axe, maybe? Yes it was definitely Axe. She always loved the scent it gave off on him. It was like the smell of Xander but with a cologne aroma to it.

When they pulled away (slowly) Willow suddenly got over her dizziness and yelled, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Xander's expression switched immediately from happiness to confusion and said, "Not the warmest welcome, Will. I must say, you-"

Willow put her hand up and interrupted, "Don't you dare "Will" me! You all, back in Sunnydale, made it pretty clear that it was very hard having me in the same room. Oh and how did Buffy put it? Um I think she said something like, "Its very hard not kill you right now Willow." But you! You said the worst! You said you loved me! And then after our sweet little moment of hugging and crying you didn't even act like you loved me. You acted like you were committing a sin if you spoke to me. And every time I fucking stepped even a foot near Anya, you would act all defensive."

While Willow was taking a breath, Xander tried to stand back but just ended up stepping on some man's foot.

Xander ignored the man's cursing, and said in a hurt/angry voice, "Willow I ignored you because when you weren't yourself you scared the hell out of me. You had to have time to yourself but I didn't mean for you to leave forever without writing or calling. And the reason for me acting all defensive is because I do love Anya. You almost killed her twice."

Willow looked down trying not to break out crying in anger because usually when she got this angry that dark part would come back into her like a parasite.

Xander tilted up her chin so he could see her face. He saw, through her tears, a hint of darkness in the corner her eyes. And he said, "Hey, calm down Willow. No need to go all dark on a couple of innocent passengers. Eh?"

Willow slowly calmed down her anger. But she was still a bit heated.

Xander continued with his last statement and said, "But I can't live on that forever. I have to move on sometime. I know you did bad stuff that hurt the gang but that doesn't mean we can't all forgive and try to forget. And now when you need forgiveness you're running off? Where is it that you're even going?"

Willow frowned and sneered at Xander. When she finally spoke she ripped her chin from his grasp and spoke, her voice was full with distain and hatefulness.

She said, "Why do you want to know? Why do you even care!... You don't need to know. …..You really shouldn't care. But I can say this Xander LaVelle Harris; the reason I'm moving is that I will be far away from you and all of those people and horrible things back in Sunnydale!"

Xander smirked, "I said I love you like four times and this is what I get? You are leaving me when I need you the most. Oh. And (you know) I and "those people" were your friends a couple of weeks ago until you went all scary evil willow on us because your girlfriend died!"

Willow looked away. Xander immediately wished he hadn't said those last words.

He immediately came in for another hug and ignored her pushes. Willow's eyes started to water because she knew that he was right, even though he had put it in horrible words. Even though she should be very angry and annoyed with him for speaking about…..the incident that happened, she needed someone to hold her. He was the only one that had come even a centimeter to forgiving her for going psychotic. But, at that moment, it seemed when she felt his warmth on her skin she didn't care. Xander wasn't her favorite person at the moment but she still loved the friendship they had ever since kindergarten. She knew that no matter how big the fight or the distance she could never lessen her love for him.

As they came apart from their warm hug, they looked at each other. Then as the first stop came a lot of people got off so they quickly found a seat and sat down and talked.

Xander looked at her and said, "Look, Willow, I didn't mean-"

Willow said, "It's the past Xander. And in a harsh way, you're right."

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Xander got up the courage to act like himself again.

Xander made the 'I'm-about-to-make-a-joke smile' and said, "I guess we're good, right Will?"

Willow gave him a warm smile.

Xander, still smiling, said, "Well I'm just guessing because the fact that you're letting me sit beside you and talk to you. Or you could be doing this just to wait for the perfect moment to slice my throat and kill me."

Willow looked at him with a startled expression and said, "Xander I would never do that, at least, not in a public place with people to witness it."

Xander sarcastically gasped. She gave him a cute smile and playfully punched him.

Xander suddenly yelled out at her playfulness, "You don't hate me! Well this is great. I love how we can totally hate each other one moment and then the next be best friends again. You don't still hate me, right?"

Willow cocked her head and asked, "Do you really think I hate you? Xander, I could never hate you even if I wanted to. You're just….well….you're you." She put empathize on the 'You'. "Plus, I thought you were the one who hated me."

Xander said, "See, no wonder we found each other here. God couldn't have us thinking we hated each other so he made us meet on this exact sub-way to make up."

Willow looked at him surprised, "You were going on this sub-way not to look for me?"

Xander looked at her with a thoughtful/ sad expression and said, "Willow. I didn't know where to go. You didn't leave a note or any type of message anywhere that said the place you were going or if you were ok. I worried for weeks about you! Then exactly two weeks later I decided to leave. It's just all so weird that we decided to go at the same time and on the same sub-way."

Willow said, "It is pretty strange. But why are you leaving?"

"All the things in the past couple of weeks were getting to me. I had to leave. Get over all of it. Isn't that why you're leaving?"

Willow gave a sad smile and said, "I guess, but, really, what happened to taking care of Anya?"

Xander's facial expression didn't change to happiness or even love, it just stayed sorrowful and he said, "Well, right after the Evil Willow Storm hit, you left and I was very upset. When I got back to the crushed up Magic Box I found Anya. She was holding Giles and helping him. When she was done with that she didn't even act surprised when I was there she just gave me a nod and went on trying to fix up things in the Magic Box. Willow. You were the only one that was closest to me than Anya and you left."

Xander looked up at her with tears in his eyes and then did a half-hearted laugh and said with a crackly voice, "I actually found out that you left right after Anya had started to ignore me and act like she hated me. It just made me want to….kill myself. Sure Buffy and Dawn were there but that was about it."

Willow felt down-right horrible. She hadn't known how badly she had hurt Xander.

Willow nervously asked, "Who else is missing me?"

Xander looked at her and said, "Buffy and Dawn….. They probably really miss you." His voice was encouraging with a hint of a lie in the sentence.

Willow looked down, ashamed of herself.

Xander saw how hurt she was and scooted closer to her so their bodies were touching.

Willow nestled her head on his shoulder and he rested his chin on the top of her head.

They stayed like that for a long time, and then Willow suddenly sat up in her seat and asked, "Am I the worst person, or what!"

Before Xander could say anything she continued, "I mean I leave the only guy friend I have known since kindergarten and, don't forget, all my friends behind! And why did I choose to run away? I know it was because I didn't want to face my friends for what I did….. What I did to….. Warren."

Xander quickly said, "Will. Thank about it. He would have spent his whole life in prison anyways. In a very torturous way, you did him a favor!"

Willow started to break down crying. Xander turned his body and Willow hugged him and he hugged back. Willow this time climbed onto his lap and put her head on his chest. Xander leaned back so they were perfectly laying together in a sitting way. He was kind of like a lawn chair to her.

Willow put her arms in her lap, looked at his hands on hers, and looked up at him and said, "I love you."

She looked surprised and then was nervous what he would do but what came next reassured her that he was not surprised, nor angry.

Xander immediately came in and kissed her lips lightly.

Xander came apart for a second and said, "Willow Rosenberg, I love you, too."

She kept staring into his chocolaty warm eyes and said, "Wow, I've never noticed how perfect your face is."

Xander chuckled, "Willow. Have you been sniffing to much spell powder…again?"

Willow giggled, "No. Really! I mean your nose is perfectly shaped, your lips are full and big and tenderizing, radiant-"

Xander looked at her and smiled, "You still babble don't you?"

Willow put her index finger on his lips and said, "I wasn't finished. Your hair is just the right shade of black and it's in a….. Good shape."

Xander pulled back from her touch, "What do you mean by that!"

Willow explained, "Well, I've always hated how you haven't let it grow longer and curly like it was back in the day, but it's all good."

Xander laughed at her and said, "Well I guess I could let it grow out a few inches."

Suddenly Willow said, "Well, this is weird."

Xander looked down at her and then started playing with a strand of her red hair and asked, "What?"

Willow sighed, "It's weird how you and I can't ever stay in a fight. I mean when I saw you I didn't think I would be able to hold back my anger before I went all dark magic on your ass. When you hugged me it felt….warm. My nerves were not hot with anger, they were warm of…." She didn't finish and looked away.

Xander tilted her chin up and had a concerned look and asked, "What?"

Willow looked deep into his eyes and said, "This is gonna sound cheesy but what I felt was…devotion. Like 'I wake up just to know that your there in the morning' kind of thing."

Xander hugged her closer and put his lips to her forehead and said, "Willow, you don't know how much I love being here. There's no one else I'd rather be with now."

Willow tried to push herself up so they could kiss again but she couldn't move her legs. Xander came apart from her forehead and pushed her legs over his right leg so they hung over and dangled.

Willow nuzzled his neck and he nuzzled back until they started to just stare into each other's eyes.

The kiss started out gentle, and then grew to being passionate.

When they stopped they noticed they had an audience and Willow tried to hide her face in Xander's shoulder. Xander laughed and stroked her hair. She soon turned around so she could sit in his lap comfortably and soon she fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>I have another chapter waiting to post but i'm gonna hold up on that until i get some reviews:) The next chapter will probably be the last chapter.<strong>


	2. Mornings & Forgiveness

_Title: All This Time_

_Spoilers for season 6_

_TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

_Couple/Pairing: Willow & Xander_

_Note: This is the last chapter :( hope ya' like it. & remember… If I have any requests I will think about making a sequel later :)_

_**Attention! : All characters belong to Joss Whedon!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2: Mornings &amp; Forgiveness<strong>_

Xander's senses started coming back. His eyes fluttered open and he realized he was in his apartment, in his bed, naked. The night he had spent with Willow was, ironically, magical. And he felt better than most days. Xander hadn't felt this happy in a long while.

He had gotten his own apartment after his parents got tired of his depressive state. He had saved enough money over time to get a cheap but nice apartment. He was glad he had done that because after the noise that happened last night, there was no way his parents wouldn't have heard.

After he was more awake, he smelt something he wasn't used to waking up to in the morning. He could smell an assortment of breakfast foods. He took in a big sniff and immediately heard his stomach growl.

He sighed happily and then eased himself up to go take a quick shower. After scrubbing himself clean he got out, half halfheartedly dried his hair, and got dressed. He decided on a pair of boxers, T-shirt, & a pair of jeans.

When he went out of his room his heart leaped at the sight of Willow. Her red hair was shining a brighter ruby color. It was also up in a pony tail with loose strands curling around her face. Apparently she had taken a shower too. She had changed into one of his T-shirts and a pair of sweat pants. When he got himself together he said, "Morning Will."

Willow smiled and said, "Morning, Xander!"

She came over to where he was standing and planted a kiss on his cheek. Xander smirked and said, "Is that all I get, Rosenberg?"

She laughed and playfully slapped his face and pointed at him, "Don't be pushy, Harris." Then she got on her tippy toes and planted a sweet, passionate kiss on his lips. He smiled at her when they came apart and she smiled back.

Before he could get another kiss she skipped to the kitchen part of his apartment and started getting the food ready to eat. Xander had watched her skip off and followed right behind her.

"Willow. You really outdid yourself…"

Xander was astonished at the many different diverse dishes of food.

"Well, you didn't have any exotic food in your fridge. I wasn't gonna settle on just cereal after the night we had." Willow laughed as Xander quirked his eyebrow at the last comment.

Xander settled for bacon, eggs, a muffin, and a glass of milk. Willow had already eaten.

"When did you get up?" Xander asked noticing she had already eaten as he finished one slice of bacon.

Willow answered by looking at her wrist watch and said, "Well its 10:37 so, umm, I'd say around 8 or so."

Xander nodded and took a drink of his milk. "So what's on today's agenda?"

Willow shrugged and said, "I guess I'll go try to build back bridges of friendships. If I'm staying I might as well beg for forgiveness from Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Anya-"

Xander put a hand on hers and said, "Will, it's gonna be okay. It might take time but it will be all good again."

Willow was about to argue but Xander leaned over the table and gave her a quick kiss on her lips and said, "It will be better."

Willow sighed, "Yeah, but-"

Xander leaned over his breakfast and kissed her again. After shutting her up, he pulled back and said, "It's gonna be okay."

Willow smiled and said, "Do you really think I'm not gonna argue with you if you kiss me every time I start too? That just makes me want to argue with you more."

Xander laughed and said, "I guess I didn't think that one through well."

Willow pinched his nose and said, "No, you really didn't, sweetie."

Xander returned to his seat and started on his blueberry muffin. "I'm so glad this wasn't awkward."

Willow cocked her head to the side and asked, "What do you mean?"

Xander swallowed his bite of muffin and said, "I just mean that it was our first time "together" and we act like we've been doing it for years. No awkward 'hey, Nice night' or awkward conversations. It's nice."

Willow gave him a wide cheeky smile and said, "Yeah, ya' know. We could have been doing this all along."

Xander waved her off and said, "I know, I can't believe I didn't open my eyes and see what was right in front of me."

Willow giggled a little and replied, "You're so sweet. And, yes, you should have but I can't really blame you. Compared to Cordy and Anya I can see why."

Xander shook his head and said, "Will, I have always thought you were gorgeous. I just only thought of you as a friend. I thought anything else more would be too weird. I'm not gonna lie, I was also afraid."

Willow's curiosity spiked and she asked, "Afraid of what?"

Xander took a breath and said, "That we would break up and we could never be friends again. I cared about our friendship too much to let that happen."

Willow had never felt more attracted to Xander until that sentence left his mouth. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek and said, "To know that, means the world to me Xander."

Xander nodded his head, sighing happily. He, again, started finishing his food.

When he finished they got ready and headed for Buffy's house.

-Buffy's House-

Xander had to squeeze Willows hand to keep her from running away. Too say Willow was nervous was a HUGE understatement.

When Xander knocked. Willow made a low, whimpering sound in the back of her throat but Xander squeezed her hand again, reassuring her that he was still with her. It helped but Willow was still eaten up with anxiety.

Buffy opened the door but was apparently yelling at Dawn to clean up her breakfast before she noticed them. When Buffy did notice Willow at her door, she was speechless. After a few minutes of silence Willow decided to just let her words flow. "I know you probably don't want me here, probably hate me, but I have to try. Buffy, I can't apologize sincerely enough, I know, and I'm not asking you to forgive me fully but if you can just forgive me a little itty bitty bit then I will be just as happy. But I understand if you can't or if it's too early. I just want you to know that I am so sorry for all the grief and pain I have caused you and Dawn. And also everyone else."

After Willow finished her speech Buffy came closer to her. At first Willow was scared Buffy was going to punch her. But instead Buffy came in for a hug. Very confused, Willow hugged her back and craned her neck to look at Xander. Xander had the same look of surprise on his face.

When Buffy came away she said, "What you did should be unforgivable but I'm passed it, kind of. Let's just pick up to where we left off BEFORE you went all dark and veiny Willow. And try to forget. Just don't do it again."

Willow smiled and ran into Buffy for a harder hug and Buffy laughed. Xander joined in on the hug.

Willow finally felt safe and like she actually belonged.

There would be monsters they would have to face, she knew. They would either live through them, or they would die through them. No one could possibly control that. Willow, though, believed that if they stuck together, nothing was impossible for the Scooby gang of heroes.


End file.
